Playing Downtown

Funny story. Well, not that funny. Funny if you think Two and Half Men is funny. You know, good for a mindless chuckle but absolutely lacking in any actual depth. Plays on cliches and stereotypes rather than any inventive humor. As usual, I digress. I should rename this blog "Mel rambles about inconsequential shit, also, she drinks too much". ANYWAY, to get back to the anecdote, recently, when I was temping in the Communications Department of the Office of the Privacy Commissioner, the Director took us out for a fancy-schmancy lunch at Play Food and Wine. I am not accustomed to fine dining (being an endless die hard junkie for a certain St. Hubert), so it was with some trepidation that I entered the sleek dining room. (Side note: I was mistaken for a waitress on my way to the washroom, seeing as I had inadvertently worn the requisite Play uniform of white top and grey skirt). For those of you who haven't been to Play Food and Wine, on the corner of York and Sussex, it is a small plate restaurant with an extensive wine list. The idea is that each small course is to be paired with a different, complimentary wine to bring out the full flavor (yes Mel we know what a wine pairing is, some of us don't subscribe to the "everything smothered in gravy" gastronomy school). Everyone at the table ordered a glass of wine. Not me. When I asked the server if they made Caesars, the condescension was palpable as he begrudgingly stated that yes, they did. The bottles of wine were delivered by a sommelier, who would announce each wine individually before pouring it "And we have here a Gelber Muskateller from Austria", with a sort of ritualistic fervor. All around the table. Some minutes later, my Caesar was plonked down unceremoniously in front of me. Small, ungarnised, bland, unremarkable. Guess now I now not to order a Caesar in a pretentious WINE bar!!

Recommended: No. But if, unlike me, you can actually taste a difference between Shiraz and Cabernet Sauvignon, go check this place out.

In which I shy away from humor as it was done for me this night

Went to Absolute Comedy on Preston Street for Simon's Birthday. I admit that I wasn't expecting much from the Caesar, expecting it to be something thrown together haphazardly in the assumption that partons would be too entranced by the show to really notice flavor (either that or too drunk). I was pleasantly surprised! Tasty, flavorful, yet nothing special. (I've decided from now on to only use my patented "rating" system on Caesars that stick out in some way, whether for better or worse). This one was passable, it's enjoyment heightened by hilarious stand up and good company. Go check it out!

This is Freaking Fantastic

http://www.clamato.com/en/about/whatisclamato.aspx

CLick on the "Move with Clamato" link to enjoy a Mexican Music Video about Clamato. I know what you're thinking, and, yes, this is the greatest thing ever.

Eating Edmonton Part 2: In which my hopes were dashed a little

My cousin Rebecca works at Chili's in Edmonton. She told me that the restaurant boasts not one but FOUR different kinds of Ceasars! Imagine my excitment! Caesar-topia! Clamato Heaven! Clam-halla! (OK that last one was atrocious, I apologize to any vikings reading this blog. Please don't gore me with your helmet). Unfortuately, It really only turned out to be 2 caesars, as:

"Traditional"
tasted like
"Great Canadian" ( horse radish added & a jalepeno slice )
which in turn tasted remarkably like
"Top Shelf Caeser" ( made with grey goose, horseradish added and olives in addition to the jalepeno slice and a pickled asparagus)
the only one that stood out was the
"Southwest" ( cajun spice rim and chipotle tobasco instead of regular tobasco )
The latter tasted a bit like BBQ sauce. Truly an Alberta original

So you see, aside from garnishes and brand of vodka used, the top 3 were basically the same. The horseradish in the Great Canadian and the Top Shelf was barely discernable, not enough to add any real variety. THEY WERE, however, all very scrumptious, though the southwest may be a bit of an acquired taste. Nice try Chili's, but if you really want to be unique how about mixing it up a little? Maybe some chili infused vodka? An Asian inspired Caesar with Kimchi as a garnish? A "hangover buster", featuring pickle juice?? Want to hire me as a Caesar mixologist?? If so my phone number is 613.....

Eating Edmonton Part 1: I Drank a Casear

Left: The beautiful bride holding a Caesar at Chianti's. Right: Taken at 11 pm...I know, weird.

When the Dumont Clan gets together there's always a tremendous amount of food involved. And off colour jokes. Also, it's a bit disconcerting to see so many freckles in one room. A recent trip to Edmonton for my cousin Colleen's wedding was no exception. Before the big day, we gathered (in the evening of a perplexingly long Edmonton summer day, see above photo) at Chianti's, a quaint Italian restaurant, for pasta and some good-humoured torturing of the groom-to-be. The Caesar was just ok, but the company more than made up for it.

Spice Level: 3/5 a nice kick but not overwhelming
Garnishes: Celery and a lime wedge...ho hum...also, it's recently been brought to my attention that you're supposed to SQUEEZE the lime wedge into the drink. How could I, a bonified Caesar connoiseur not know this?? Well, see, I'm someone who thought getting an Arts Degree would benefit me in the career world...catch my drift?? Not the sharpest tool in the proverbial shed.
Originality: 0/5...but then again this wasn't the kind of restaurant you went to to experience culinary surprises, but to eat big plates of classic italian yumminess.
Overall Yum Factor: 2.5/5...just in case anyone actually takes this blog seriously, DO NOT fly to Alberta to sample this. If you already live in the North End of Edmonton, go right ahead!

East Side Story

This post is about East Side Mario's! The title is a play on that famous broadway musical! You knew that already! My attempt at humor is as subtle as a grand piano falling on your head! Why am I using so many exclamation points! What is this, an Archie comic??!!!!

...Ok, I've composed myself. East Side Mario's in Bells Corners, Friday night. On the Patio, surrounded by friends. The sun setting on a beautiful summer evening. What more could a girl hope for??? I'll tell you what: A better Caesar. At first glance, the Casear was a thing of mouthwatering beauty. HUGE, glistening, tarted up with all kinds of stuff. The taste, however, left much to be desired:

Spice Level: 1.5/5 - ????
Garnishes: 3/5 - Cherry Tomatoes, a pickled pepper and finally! A celery Stalk! (You'd be surprised how delicious a Caesar soaked piece of vegetable can be when you've eaten nothing all day except a bag of chips for lunch. I hope my parents don't actually read this blog).
Originality: I'll give it a 2.5. It was sooo very pretty. The tomatoes were an odd choice in my opinion but god does East Side Mario's serve tasty peppers!
Overall yum Factor: 1.5...just really really bland. The Caesar is supposed to be a bold drink! If you can't take the heat, order a freaking Bloody Mary! Or else buy a bottle of Original (not Extra Spicy) Clamato and save yourself the $7!!

Recommended: No. But East Side's Patio on a Summer night, most definitely.

Everyone Knows Sex Sells...

...So I thought I'd point out that Clamato is apparently considered to be an aphrodisiac in Mexico. Arrriba!!!

Royal-ly Delicious (groan...)

Tunney's Pasture / Mechanicsville / Hintonburg. Whatever you want to call it, it's my favorite neighborhood in Ottawa. Maybe because it's transit way adjacent? Or because each house is unique to those around it (not like the almost eeire, Edward Scissorhand-esque homogenity of the suburbs)(I refer of course to the creepy planned community he visits, not his awesome gothic castle). Or, perhaps, it's the plenitude of interesting shops, many of which actually CLOSE on Sundays?!? Either way, I'm glad to be able to call it my home once more. Therefore, the Caesar I happily tasted at the Wellington Royal Oak on moving day may have been given an edge over the competition:

Spice Level: 2.5 (Keep in mind that I am one of those people who likes their spicy food to actually physically hurt them, so for a Caesar to rate a 4 or higher it needs to be a little out of control)
Garnishes: Only a lone lime wedge...a fact that would normally irk me but like I said, I was in a good mood.
Originality: 1...just a good, solid, tasty Caesar
Overall Yum Factor: 4, lots of Worcestershire sauce which I adore (Yes I had to look up the spelling)

Recommended: Yes, especially if your boyfriend remembers to order it without ice :) Check out the neighborhood while you're there.

Caesars should be the new Champagne

Wedding Season is most definitely upon us. On Saturdays, cheezily decked out limousines prowl the streets of Ottawa. In the office, there can be heard the frantic murmurings of those finishing their best man/maid of honour speeches on their lunch breaks. There's a certain softness in the air and even the most cynical can dare to dream a little. And then there's the drinking. My friend Schone recently tied the knot and we, naturally, sent the happy couple on their way to the alter by getting together before the big day to drink a lot. Then followed the wedding, which was a beautiful and memorable day. Congrats Schone and Paul! I lift a Caesar to wish you many happy years together!!

(....um...where's the review??? Truth is the Caesar I had at Le Bistro L'Autre Oeil in Aylmer at said pre Wedding drinkfest was so umemorable it only merits this little postscript. Spice Level: Meh, Garnishes: None, Originality: Meh, Overall yum Factor: you guessed it, Meh. Tasted exactly like one of those pre-mixed Caesars you buy in the "Party" section of the LCBO. Mott's, I am I lifelong fan of your tasty Clamato, but please, please amp up the bottled Caesar!!!!)

The Best??? We shall see.....

Well, it appears that the gauntlet has been thrown down. Apparently, Pepper's Pub in Saint John, NB claims to have the "World's Best Caesar". Sadly, I wasn't there to experience this so called Masterpiece, but, to quote my sister Herb who discovered it during her East Cost adventures, it rated:

Spice Level: 4.5 they dumped chili flakes and hot horseradish in the drink
Garnishes: 3..had 3 jumbo olives a lime and a rimmer made of chili flakes
Originality: 3.5
Yum factor: 4.5 ! :)

Recommended: Well, Herb obviously thinks so! Methinks this one might be worth a road trip...stay tuned...also, who wants to lend me their car???

Swanky!...and yet, so-so

Taking a break from my usual Value Village-shopping, Ramen Noodle-eating, Free Internet-streaming (sorry Mom) penny-pinching ways, I recently lunched at Petit Bill's Bistro in fashionable Westboro with Herb. Upon ordering the Caesar, the affable waiter enquired as to our preferred spice level and if we would enjoy the addition of crushed cucumber. Intrigued, we opted yes. What arrived were a couple of vibrant red, cold (too cold - our request for no ice went unheeded) glasses of, well, ok-ness.

Spice Level: 2/5 - not acceptable considering I asked for "really really really spicy" (my verbosity sometimes astounds me).
Garnishes: 3/5 - crushed cucumber in the bottom and a single floating gerkin on top. (I have to rue the obvious lack of celery stalk adornment with my recent Caeser samplings, even though, according to my roomate Sara, I am the only one who actually eats it).
Originality: 3/5 - Never before had smushed up cucumbers in a beverage.
Yum Factor: 3/5 - Tasted remarkably like a liquid salad. Very gazpacho-esque. Refreshing and tasty but lacking a certain something.

Recommended: Yes, especially on a hot summer day, but I wouldn't go out of my way for it.

Meat Galore! Oh, and a Caesar

Mother's Day Brunch at the Brookstreet Hotel in Kanata. I counted 10 different kinds of meat. This isn't a meat blog so I will stop there, but if you get the chance to go, please do. 'Twas awesome. Herb and I both ordered the Caesar. Here's how it rated:

Spice Level: 2.5/5 - Subtle but enough to keep it from being boring.
Garnishes: 2.5/5 - There were 3 green olives on a skewer and a lime wedge. Tasty, but not much variety.
Originality: 1/5 - I guess the fact that there were 3 olives instead of one merits a point.
Yum Factor: 4/5 - To be honest, it tasted remarkably like the one from Busters'. Just goes to show you that a quality Caeaser can be found anywhere, from a humble neighborhood bar & grill to an award winning restaurant in an ultra-fancy hotel.

Recommended: Yes

Blood on the mat...

Ah UFC. Nothing like witnessing the subtle pas de deux of two guys beating the crap out of each other using fighting techniques that span several disciplines. And yes, I do realize that dropping unnecessary French phrases into an otherwise English sentence is pretentious. Anyway, UFC nights are pretty entertaining, once you can get past the borderline homoeroticism of it all. Getting to the point, the BF and I went to Busters Bar and Grill (in the Lincoln Heights Mall) Saturday night to watch the fight so I obviously got a Caesar. It should be pointed out that, henceforth, I will be rating the Caesars based on four factors: Spice Level, Garnishes, Originality and overall Yum Factor. Busters' Caesar earned, in my opinion:

Spice Level: 3/5 - A very pleasant kick but far from overwhelming.
Garnishes: 0/5 - There were none. Not even a lone celery stalk. There was rimmer on the glass of course but no points for that because I consider it compulsory.
Originality: 0/5 - Um, unless you count the lack of garnishes an original twist, there was nothing different about it.
Yum Factor: 4/5 - The last couple points sounded a bit negative, but it was delicious! Seasoned very well. I ordered 2, and would have gotten a 3rd if I wasn't so cheap.

Recommended: Yes, but I wouldn't travel across the city for it.

It May Get Spicy...

My first glass of Clamato was at a young age. Though it may sound repulsive (Mmmm! A refreshing blend of Tomato and Clam Juice!), it was love at first sip. Mixed with seasonings and garnished, Clamato morphs into something...glorious. The Bloody Caesar is much more than my drink of choice, it is like a friend that has always been there for me over the years, acting as a tasty pick me up, a hangover cure, and, more times than I'm willing to admit, a complete meal. It's time to take my love affair with the Caesar to a new level as I begin my search for the perfect one, starting in Ottawa and going....anywhere!!! It will be a journey of self-discovery and growth (not really, but it will be delicious!!!).